Humor

Brian’s Online Dating Application

Brian’s Online Dating Application

These questions were designed to ensure the happiness and safety of both Brian and the applicant. Brian is an equal opportunity boyfriend.

Remember that Brian respects your online privacy, and would never give this information to anyone unless it was really really funny!

 


Part 1: Demographic Information

Name:
Email address:
Website:
Phone number:
City/Town:
Province/State:
Country:
Part 2: Personal Information

Gender Sexual Orientation
Female Heterosexual
Male Homosexual
Neither Bi-curious
Both Bi-sexual
Measurements (optional):
Current or Completed Education Level: Current or Intended Occupation:
High School Diploma Health-field 
College degree Education
Bachelor’s degree Business
Master’s degree Housewife
PhD Engineer/science
Post-doc Performance/artist
Other Career student 
Other

Part 3: Past “Relations”

Previous Dating Experience 1:
name:
Position:


 

 
Start/end dates:
Reason for breakup:


 

 

 

Previous Dating Experience 2:
name:
Position:


 

 
Start/end dates:
Reason for breakup:


 

 

  

Previous Sexual Experience:
Nun wannabe – Still a virgin
Little experience – Started getting some and want more
Experienced – Have had some and crave more
Been around – Have a lot of experience, possibly even a reputation
Been everywhere – Definitely have a rep
  

>Part 4: True Facts

I smoke on occasion

My name is Monica Lewinsky

I pronounced “Sade” correctly the first time


I pronounced “Sade” correctly the first time

I’m in a sorority
I know what FTP stands for
I love sweets
I have forgotten someone’s phone number but remembered their email address
I have spent more than 60 days in prison
I love sex/I’m a nymphomaniac (Note: This will not count against you)
I need more than 6 hours of sleep per night
I occasionally do light drugs (e.g., marijuana)
I occasionally do hard drugs (e.g., extacy)
I have been approached by modeling agencies
I can’t wake up without my morning caffeine
There is an odometer on my bed
I’m a member of a law enforcement or government agency
I have a tongue, nose, or belly button  ring
I know my mother’s daughter’s name
I tend to wake up hot and bothered
I have tatoos
I know what Kanuk is 

Part 5: Short Essays

Describe your perfect first date:

What are you looking for in a relationship?

How would you incorporate “42” into your life?

Is there anything else I should know?

After sending it in, you’ll be re-directed to the homepage.
Dating Application

 
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Brian is the editor-in-chief of Citynet Magazine. He’s an award-winning writer and a…

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