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Funny Office Stories

Funny Office Stories
Kelly Norvis

Chapter 1
He was looking for love. She wanted it to go away. It was long ago, back when the cost of gasoline was only $2.10 and the weather was about 54 degrees, actually, it was a week ago, but it was still a simpler time then. I went to work late as I do almost everyday and sat down in front of my computer where I began to write an e-mail, I received some valuable information that I needed to transfer onto paper. I reached for a post it note and began to write, before I knew it, I replaced an M with a W, call it dyslexia, call it being over tired, call it whatever you want, the fact was, I made a mistake and I knew it.

I turned my paper mate clear grip electric pencil over to use the built in eraser but to my dismay, the eraser was gone. I sat looking around for something, anything, to erase this mistake. There was nothing powerful enough to undo the damage I had done. I just sat there perplexed when I heard a voice call out to me.”touch me” it said, “Please, touch me…” I looked behind me thinking it might be the alternate UPS man who looks like John Denver, but no one was there. So I looked back at my post it note and again I heard him, louder this time,”pppsst, over here!” I followed the voice to a dusty spot by the side of my computer and there he was. A beautiful, 1-inch magic rub eraser. I immediately picked him up and began to stroke him over my post it, lightly at first, as he giggled with glee but as I rubbed harder I could swear I heard him cry, so I stopped.

He looked up at me as a tear fell from the”M” in Magic. I asked him what was wrong and he just looked away, saying I wouldn’t understand. I said to him”how am I supposed to understand, if you won’t tell me?” after a few seconds he looked back at me and I gently wiped the tear that had now dripped down to his trademark (1954), smudging it just a bit. Taking a gulp he explained to me that this was too hard for him, I looked at him, confused at first. He looked mad, what did I do to rub him the wrong way?

He finally pulled himself together and looked straight into my eyes and said” for two years now I have watched you type on the computer, admired your phone skills, and for what?!, the first time you decide to actually write something manually, I was barely n afterthought. You looked all around, avoiding my stare, and finally when all your fancy erasers had failed you, you settled on me. I don’t want to be the eraser that you end up”settling” for.” I was shocked, I had no idea he felt this way. I didn’t know what to say. Mistakes? Sure I’ve made a few, who hasn’t? But did I just throw away the best office tool I had ever known without even knowing I was loosing it?

Chapter 2: Desperate times call for desperate rubbers.

So there I was, face to face with Magic Rub, not sure where to go next, when to my surprise, he spoke.”Look” he said, “I’m sorry, I should have never…” “NO” I interrupted,”it’s me, I’m the one who should apologize, I was thoughtless and I’m sorry.” To break the tension, I poked him on one of his square edges and we both laughed and laughed for what seemed like seconds. Then it happened, in a real deep voice, one I’d never heard before, he says”would you like to go out to dinner sometime?” I wasn’t really sure I wanted to but I couldn’t hurt the little buggers feelings again so I accepted.

Friday night, 8pm, Magic Rub showed up right on time. He was wearing just a bow tie and was carrying a bouquet of lead pencil refills. As he stood at my door, rubber flaking off of him, I thought, maybe this isn’t so bad. We arrived at the restaurant at a quarter to nine, I ordered chicken, he had the fish. Dinner went well and the conversation was marginal but the band was amazing. Magic Rub and I danced the night away, he was like Fred Astaire and I was Ginger Rogers. We laughed and joked and laughed some more. As he walked me back to my apartment I could feel the wine from the nights dinner settling in. He walked me into my apartment and I clumsily fell into his rectangular body. What happened next is sort of a blur. I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache; lying next to me in the bed was Magic Rub… now, without his bowtie. Just as I was about to ask him what happened I looked around the room and saw pencil marks everywhere. All over my drapes, the carpet, the couch… my bed. I was so embarrassed; I didn’t remember any of it. All I could think was “thank god I had a rubber!”

The next day at work was awkward and day after that was even worse. We’d pass each other at my desk and barely say two words. I couldn’t even look at him! The worst part was that I’d never taken home one of my office supplies before (for fear of someone accusing me of stealing) and now I have to live with that mistake forever or at least until I use him up. What’s worse is that I think he told the pens and pencils of our scandalous night because they’ve been snickering and giving me dirty looks ever since.

They won’t even eat lunch with me anymore. I should have just stuck to that silly paper clip!

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View Comments (3)


  1. Avatar


    May 15, 2010 at 10:54 am

    kay that dint make sence :L explain? were u high? :L

  2. Avatar


    May 14, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    WAIT,WHAT?! -_-

  3. Avatar


    July 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Must b trippin