Montreal Versus Boston Comparison Fight

Montreal Versus Boston Comparison Fight

Welcome to the Montreal versus Boston fight! Some people say that Boston doesn’t stand a chance! Others say that Montreal is gonna win hands down! Still others aren’t sure if Boston has what it takes to play with the big boys. Let’s find out! This comparison gives equal weight to each category in each topic. So if you think that education is more important than nightlife, well, too bad!! I’ve broken the comparison into 5 topics:

Requests have come in for other competitions such as Montreal vs. Toronto. The problem is that Montreal will win in most cases so let’s just use the Boston example since it shows, well, see for yourself…

Let the games begin!

Topic Montreal Boston Edge
Students (official January 2000 stats) 4.38 per 100 people
(#1 in North America)
4.37 per 100 people
(#2 in North America)
Cost of University About $2,000/year in Canadian dollars. So roughly $1,400 USD. Around $10,000-25,000 USD/year, which is about $16,000-$40,000 Canadian. Montreal
University Prestige The Harvard of Canada. Boston
Level of Class Difficulty Tough. Tough. Tie
Fraternities and sororities. They exist, but French students are clueless as to what they are. They exist, but with the occasional hazing death. Boston
Intelligence & Skill Montreal has a far higher proportion and total number of better skilled citizens and a superior educationally prepared workforce. (I have the numbers to prove it). Let’s not beat around the bush here. Boston has FAR more dumb people per capita than Montreal. Take out the university students and you get stuck with a “cesspool of lowlessness”. Montreal
subtotal: Montreal: 3 Boston: 2 Ties: 1
Drinking age. 18 (And it’s practically just a suggestion!) 21 Montreal
Bar Closing Times 3am 1-2am Montreal
Nightclub Areas Saint Laurent and Crescent Lansdowne and The Alley Montreal
Afterhour clubs A bunch: Sona, Stereo, Aria, etc… They close at 10-12AM. A stupid one: Rise, where you have to be a ‘member’. Sooo dumb. Montreal
Raves Every couple months.
8,000 – 20,000 people attend.
Small time stuff. Montreal
Strip clubs About 47 of them. Famous for full nudity and lap dances. Like, one. Montreal
Late-night, post-partying eateries All over. If you look very closely, you may find a McDonald’s drive-thru (with the obligatory 3 hour line up). Montreal
Festivals Each summer Montreal hosts the Largest Jazz festival in the world, the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, the International Fireworks Competition (lasts all summer!), the Fringe Festival, and many many more. Far fewer and much smaller events. The biggie is like ‘Free ice cream day’ outside city hall.
Does not even come close.
subtotal: Montreal: 8 Boston: 0 Ties: 0
City Life
Very liberal and open. Conservative, censorship attitude. Montreal
Apartments Lots. Modern. Inexpensive. Few. Old. 3rd highest rent in North America. Montreal
Housing Condos and housing prices are getting a little tight these days but still very reasonable. Outrageous! Everything is so ridiculously overpriced. Sell and get out while you still can!! Montreal
Parking Ample. Can’t find a spot as soon as you get downtown? Circle for 3 minutes and you’ll find something. Non-existent. Lack thereof gets in the way of daily life and causes hours of needless frustration. Montreal
Parking attendants Green Onions & Parking Montreal: The downtown driver’s worst enemies! You get ticketed all the time. No warnings, no nothing. Half the time the cop was wrong to give it to you, but you never know so you pay. Tie
Traffic Congestion Tolerable. Among the top 5 worst in the US. Montreal
Streets Grid-like, easy to follow. It’s like Manhattan, where the streets were specifically made to be simple for all to use. Let’s see…every street leads you to a 3-way fork that curves all over the place with no apparent meaning to it all. Montreal
Street names Mostly Dead French People. Every little suburb has the same goddam street names! Montreal
Street signs All French or pictograms. English. Boston
Public Transit The Metro. It’s clean and safe. The proportion of people who use public transit in Montreal is 2nd only to NYC. The T. It’s been called “old and decrepit.” You can see rats and mice in the T-stations, it’s slow as hell, and is a mess, just like the rest of the city. Montreal
Restaurants Most restaurants per capita in North America. Also has the most restos in N. A. after NYC even though there are bigger cities out there! Montreal is world renown for its excellent quality and variety of food. Boston has a lot of restaurants but the majority offer a far inferior quality of food. Everyone seems to know the very few that are decent and flock to them, leaving literally 3-hour lines to be seated. Disgusting. Montreal
Taxis You feel comfortable in back of a normal car. Bullet proof glass between you and the driver seals you in the back of that cab like canned sardines. Montreal
Radio Pffffff. Montreal Radio?
It rhymes with crayola.
Amazing. Great Variety. Boston
Currently in Montreal Currently in Boston
Weather Very cold snowy winters.
Nice hot summers. Nothing beats the temperature of a typical Montreal summer.
Very mild cold winters.
Very hot summers.
Salaries Low. High. Boston
Income-tax rate ~50%
(Highest in North America)
Less. (~35%) Boston
Races Grand Prix Boston Marathon Tie
Safety Yup, it’s safe. Some sketchy areas. Montreal
Cops Not really needed. Does a day go by without hearing a siren blaring out of a cop car as it races by? Montreal
Languages spoken English, French, and sometimes a third language. American. Montreal
Language Police Racist bastards. What’s that? We only speak American here so don’t need whatever that is. Boston
Population 3,400,000 3,300,000 Tie
Everyday tax rate PST + GST = 15%
Applied to everything.
Applied to some things.
Local waterways St. Lawrence River Charles River Boston
Overall Beauty Yup. Yup. Tie
Dealing with “disasters” Ice Storm ’98: We all came out just fine. A few snow flurries and the city shuts down and prepares for a post-nuclear war lifestyle. Montreal
The cost of living Extremely reasonable. One of North America’s best kept secrets. No wonder Hollywood has started filming movies there like crazy. Completely outrageous. You pay a LOT and get almost nothing in return. Montreal
City spending gone mad. The Big “Owe” The Big Dig. Tie
Mr. Fix-it Let’s fix it correctly the first time, or replace it. “Let’s put a patch on it until it breaks again” attitude. Since the city is so expensive, no one dares replace anything. Instead they do a half-ass job of patching everything up. Montreal
Rent control Favours the tenant. Example: Rent can’t jump more than a few percentage points from year to year, so a typical raise may go from $500/month to $525/month.. Favors the rich, greedy capitalist landlords. Example: Rent can jump from $800/month to $1150/month for no apparent reason. Montreal
subtotal: Montreal: 17 Boston: 7 Ties: 6
Arenas Molson Center Fleet Center Boston
Stadiums Olympic Stadium
(aka the big owe)
Fenway Park Boston
Hockey The Habs
(aka The Canadians)
The Bruins Montreal
Baseball The Expos The Red Sox Boston
Basketball E-ya, right. The Celtics Boston
subtotal: Montreal: 1 Boston: 4 Ties: 0
Other Stuff
Dot coms advertised in your face C’est quoi ça?! Yup. Boston
Famous musicians Corey Hart, Celine Aerosmith, New Kids on the Block Boston
Medicare system Free. Socialized medical care. Pay for it. Pay a LOT. Montreal
International recognition Listed among the top 10 best places to live by the trendy GenX Magazine Wallpaper among many other publications. Ya right! As if! Montreal
subtotal: Montreal: 1 Boston: 2 Ties: 1
Current Score Montreal: 30 Boston: 14 Ties: 8
Some people think Russia is the Motherland. Those of use who know better know that Montreal is really the Motherland!!!
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