
We’re all fans of Sir Patrick Stewart. We’ve seen him in seven years of Star Trek: The Next Generation, ten Star Trek movies, six X-Men movies. We’ve heard him in The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy and American Dad. He’s been in movies, TV shows and video games for as long as many of us can remember and he was prevalent for years upon years before that. If you have even the smidgenest of geek bones in your body, then you’ve been steeped in his dulcet tones for decades. He’s British, he’s wise and the sort of guy you’d go to for sound advice.
So you can imagine my surprise when, at his Just For Laughs Gala, I heard the most heinous things come out of his mouth. Not in my wildest dreams would I have thought Sir Patrick Stewart would say (and enjoy!) what he was saying on stage. Boy, oh boy was I shocked… and delighted.
Sir Patrick Stewart Says The Darnedest Things
For the sake of decency, I can’t quote everything he said. Indeed, being so flabbergasted I had to deliberately forget much of what I heard him say.

“The Picard” himself, Sir Patrick Stewart raising his arms while revealing a potty mouth!
My favourite quote that I can talk about has to be him saying: “Nothing turns the ladies’ knickers into a moat then taking the sword from the sheath and giving it a spot polish for Lord and Country.” Laughter ensues.
Also There Were Comedians
Though Professor Picard was stealing the show with his charming vulgarities, the other comedians I saw on the stage really brought their A-game. Kyle Kinane, Jim Breuer, Russell Howard, Sebastian Maniscalco, Pete Zedlacher, David Acer and Gina Yashere were the much needed politically-correct palate cleansers that allowed the audience to take a breather before getting another dose of the Stewart smut (I say that lovingly!).
Special props have to go out to Jim Breuer, Kyle Kinane and Sebastian Maniscalco for showing me once again why stand-up comedy is truly an art form like no other.
Sir Patrick Stewart Teaches Us a Lesson
Sir Patrick Stewart at 75 years old appears to be one of the most jovial, youthful and successful people I’ve ever heard of. If there’s any one who can instill a feeling of hope and eagerness for getting older it’s this dude. I mean, if I could become a quarter of the man he is then I’d have lived a life worth living.
He left us with the same words I’ll leave you with now. And I suggest you take a second to truly appreciate the hilarity of it: “Never screw with Sir Pat Stew, b*****s”.
He’s a knight, man. A freaking knight!
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