There’s no doubt that it’s difficult to create romance in a relationship in the 21st century. For most people, romance is a foreign concept that we occasionally come to face while watching movies, but when being greeted with it in our actual lives we often find it on the verge of tackiness.
Many people get nervous and weird about it, seeing a bed full of roses, champagne on a nightstand, and deeply touching poems read aloud to us in this scenery. Worst of all, it makes us uncomfortable.
Still, people in a relationship want some romantic gestures and we just don’t want to choke on them. So the question is what romantic gestures are really romantic, and when are they really appropriate?
Reality Versus Romance
The key word in the entire subject is the word “real”. For romance to escape the possibility of being inappropriate or even tacky, the romantic gesture has to be genuine not only or necessarily in the sense of being out of pure deep felt love, but also in the sense of being original and having more than a reference to the real world, because there really is such a thing as too much when it comes to romance.
Therefore it’s important to keep it realistic, even though a very large part of the concept of romance is the fairytale like aspects thereof.
Everyday Romance
To keep romance on a level close to reality, you have to combine the fairytale fantasies with the everyday-life. Normally we associate the word romance primarily with flowers, chocolate, and candlelight dinners – but romance can be much more than that, and when it is, it’s often much better.
A great way to do this is to start looking at what you have in your everyday-life. What do you normally do with your partner, what are your interests, is there something that you have been talking about doing, but have not yet come around to? Even if you just started seeing each other, it should be possible to get a picture of what both of your everyday-lives look like.
If you can manage to find the activities that you both enjoy, it’s actually not that difficult to turn one of these activities into a romantic experience. Often the element of surprise itself can make a given situation much more romantic than had it been planned for weeks.
An Example
Let’s say you are dating a woman who is interested in food, art, old movies, and nature. The perfect romantic gesture should combine her interests; call her up and ask her for a date at the movies. She will then be prepared and therefore not totally surprised when suddenly participating in your incredibly romantic date.
Instead of actually taking her out to a movie you create a romantic setting with a picnic in the park, preferably just like a scene In one of her favorite old movies. And just like that you have combined her interests in food, movies, and nature and turned an otherwise normal date into a romantic experience that still isn’t covered in roses, chocolate, and candle lights to the point where one might get nauseous.
The Trick
Keep in mind that this definitely isn’t just a perfectly quick recipe for romance – no such thing exists. The point is to let go of the idea of romance being a perfect fairytale, and embrace the possibility of creating simpler and even cheaper romance from the things you know about your partner and the elements of your everyday-life.
Neither is this the banning of flowers and chocolate – these things can come to good use in creating a romantic date. There is always also the possibility of approaching romance with a certain kind of humor.
If you make the experience funny, you can throw dozens of roses into the project and still not seem cheesy. It’s basically all about attitude, approach, and creativity. And then it’s totally up to yourself how to create your romance. The more original the better.
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