There are over a thousand, yes a thousand, Internet personals websites and services and that number is growing at an unprecedented rate. There are probably millions of people on these sites. So, how do you get someone’s attention? Read on.
There are two things that people who search personal ads will see right away. First, they will probably see your picture. Second, your headline.
Pictures
According to AOL’s research (a few years ago) on their own service, you’re 8 times more likely to be considered if you have a picture. Translation: Send in a picture! Don’t even consider the excuse that you don’t have a scanner. You can go to Kinko’s or any number of photocopy stores to get a picture scanned for under $5. Even the cheapest scanners are less than $75 today.
If you are really worried about your looks, perhaps you should try a picture a bit further away or in shades, leaving a bit of mystery.
On the other hand, the more clear and recent the picture, the better. After all, you don’t want her to expect Tom Cruise and go into shock after she meets a Homer Simpson clone.
The Headline
Aside from your picture, you need a headline that stands out or no one is going to care who you are. Let’s face it, there are far more men out there looking to meet women than the other way around, so you gotta do what you can to get visitors to read up on you.
No Sex! That’s right, don’t make references to anything sexual. Focus on what makes YOU special. ALL guys want sex, that’s a given! If they don’t, they’ve got issues. Once you meet the right woman, you will get sex, but first you have to meet them! Be constructive!
Write something that stands out but describes you. It might be something like: “Smart looking for smart-ass”, “I can hold a conversation, can you?,” or “SWM seeks Asian Woman”. The possibilities are unlimited! The best thing you can do if you aren’t sure is to see what other guys have written and model it after that.
Terminology
You’ll probably come across the term ‘ISO’. It stands for ‘In search of”. A few others: SWF = Single White Female, SJF = Single Jewish Female, BBW = Big Beautiful Woman or Big Black Woman.
The Body
Women love humor. You might consider showing some light heartedness in your ad through some sort of joke, whether subtle or overt. You should consider talking a bit about your life in general, your favorite foods, musical preferences, work, student life, recent travels and so on.
Honesty is key. Don’t write that you’re an extreme-sports fiend, only to have her discover that you made it up and haven’t exercised once in the past 4 years. Women don’t like liars.
Not Too Gorgeous, Not Too Ugly
Chances are you are not the most beautiful man in the world but also not the ugliest. Consider that fact when you are deciding who you are looking for. If you are average looking and looking for an average looking woman (or better of course!), then consider saying so in the ad.
Are you 6-foot-1 and looking for a tall woman? Then be sure to offer a range of heights such as 5″6 – 6″2. The bottom line is, don’t be too general but don’t be so limiting that no one will fall in the range of what you are looking for.
One Email Address, Many Services
Given the multitude of personals sites out there, you should consider creating one specific email address just for personal ads. This will make your life easier in the long run since you just have to check one account for your dating situation. This also keeps it away from business and other personal email addresses which could get in the way at some point in the future.
Since there are so many guys out there and not enough women, it is up to you to join several services. This will greatly increase your odds of finding a partner.
Take Your Time, Do It Right
Once you make contact, try emailing back and forth for a while. You may want to consider chatting while you are both online. CitynetMagazine.com offers great advice about chatting online, should you choose to do so. Otherwise, take your time and get to know each other a little better through email exchanges to see if you appear compatible.
You’d be surprised at how some people don’t appear compatible as lovers or booty calls but instead become friends. There is no shame in becoming friends with her, and remember, she may have a friend to introduce you to.
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